Beautiful Phoenix...
guess this is in retaliation for the one that went around about the cold country.
Planning on retiring in a different area?
A newcomers experience with Phoenix, AZ.
Just moved to Phoenix, Arizona! Now this is a state that knows how
to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place!
It is beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
June 14th:
Really heating up Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in
an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a
pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun
worshipper.
June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of
cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn
for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
July 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people
get used to this kind of heat? At least, it's kind of windy though. But
getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
July 15th:
Fell asleep by the community pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over
60% of my body).
Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned
my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
July 20th:
I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this
morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had
died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then popped
like a water balloon. The car now smells like Kibbles and shits.
I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat. Good ol'
Mr. Sun strikes again.
July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And
it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the
AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed
to order parts.
July 30th:
Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now, $225,000
house and I can't even go inside. Lomita is the lucky one. Why
did I ever come here?
Aug. 4th:
It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today.
It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this
stupid state.
Aug. 8th:
If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going
to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work, the radiator
is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked
cat!!
Aug. 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on
the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire. My skin melted to
the seat. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs
and ass. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.
Aug 10th:
The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny.
Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do shit for too many
damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next
week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert? Water rationing will
be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over.
Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.
IAug. 14th:
Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 119 today. Cactus are
dead. Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield
out of the car. The installer came to fix it and said, 'Hot enough
for you today?'
My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking
Phoenix, Arizona. What kind of a sick demented idiot would want
to live here??
Will write later to let you know how the trial goes...