Uncle Paul

"Hello?"

"Hi honey.

This is Daddy.

Is Mommy near the phone?"

"No Daddy.

She's upstairs in the bedroom

with Uncle Paul."

After a brief pause,

Daddy says,

"But honey,

you haven't got

an Uncle Paul."

"Oh yes I do,

and he's upstairs in the room

with Mommy,

right now."

Brief Pause.

"Uh, okay then,

this is what I want you to do.

Put the phone

down on the table,

run upstairs

and knock on the bedroom door

and shout to Mommy

that Daddy's car

just pulled into the driveway."

"Okay Daddy,

just a minute."

A few minutes later

the little girl comes back to the phone.

"I did it Daddy."

"And what happened honey?"

"Well, Mommy got all scared,

jumped out of bed

with no clothes on

and ran around screaming.

Then she tripped over the rug,

hit her head on the dresser

and now she isn't moving at all!"

"Oh my God!!!

What about your Uncle Paul?"

"He jumped out of the bed

with no clothes on, too.

He was all scared

and he jumped out of the back window

and into the swimming pool.

But I guess he didn't know

that you took out the water

last week to clean it.

He hit the bottom of the pool

and I think he's dead."

***Long Pause***

***Longer Pause***

***Even Longer Pause***

Then Daddy says,

"Swimming pool?

Is this

486-5731?"