patient: i feel terrible. i can hardly breathe, i can't walk, i keep having palpitations and my skin is covered in nasty blotches.
doctor: oh dear.
patient: are u writing me a prescription?
doctor: no, a note for the undertaker.
patient: what did my x-ray of my head show?
doctor: absolutely nothing.
patient: i need to lose 30 pounds of excess flab.
doctor: all right, i'll cut your head off.
patient: i tink im a bridge
doctor: wad on earth come over u?
patient: six cars, two trucks and a bus.
frankenstein: doctor, i'd like to leave my body to science.
doctor: don't bother, we couldn't find a cure for it.
patient: im on a diet and it's making me irritable. yesterday i bit someone's ear off!
doctor: oh dead, tatz alot of calories.
patient: i swallowed a skeleton's bone.
doctor: are u choking?
patient: no, im serious.
patient: i've got bad teeth, foul breath and smelly feet.
doctor: sounds like u've got foot and mouth disease.
patient: i feel dead from the waist down.
doctor: i'll arrange for u to be half-buried.
doctor: oh dear.
patient: are u writing me a prescription?
doctor: no, a note for the undertaker.
patient: what did my x-ray of my head show?
doctor: absolutely nothing.
patient: i need to lose 30 pounds of excess flab.
doctor: all right, i'll cut your head off.
patient: i tink im a bridge
doctor: wad on earth come over u?
patient: six cars, two trucks and a bus.
frankenstein: doctor, i'd like to leave my body to science.
doctor: don't bother, we couldn't find a cure for it.
patient: im on a diet and it's making me irritable. yesterday i bit someone's ear off!
doctor: oh dead, tatz alot of calories.
patient: i swallowed a skeleton's bone.
doctor: are u choking?
patient: no, im serious.
patient: i've got bad teeth, foul breath and smelly feet.
doctor: sounds like u've got foot and mouth disease.
patient: i feel dead from the waist down.
doctor: i'll arrange for u to be half-buried.
