I'm starting a new club for funny jokes. Everyone can post random jokes in here, and comment on them as well. Remember : only text jokes. If you find any video or anything that is REALLY funny, please make another topic for it, and link it here. Thanks 
-- (Note : Santa, which are mentioned in several jokes here, dosen\'t mean it is Santa Claus)
Santa Singh was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his friend Banta. As Banta Singh stood beside the bed, Santa Singh\'s frail condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on. Banta singh lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper, and Santa used his last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died. Banta singh thought it best not to look at the note just then, so he slipped it into his jacket pocket.
Several days later, at the funeral, Banta singh was visting Santa\'s family. He realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he\'d worn the day Santa died.
\"You know,\" he said, \"Santa handed me a note just before he died. I haven\'t read it, but knowing Santa, I\'m sure there\'s a word of inspiration there for us all. He unfolded the note and read a loud, \"You\'re standing on my oxygen tube!\"
--
2 Sardars are driving a car, one puts on the indicator and asks the
other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says
YES...NO...YES. ..NO...YES. ..NO...
--
Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, \"How far is land\"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!
--
A foolish person named Banta Singh wrote this letter to Bill Gates (Old president of America who discovered windows 95)
Dear Mr Bill Gates,
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a
computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to
your notice.
1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and
whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field.
We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****.
I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the
password is.
2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the \'shut down \'
button.
3. There is a button \'start\' but there is no \"stop\" button. We request you to check this.
4. We find there is \'Run\' in the menu. One of my friend clicked \'run\' has ran upto New York! So, we request you to change that to \"sit\", so that we can click that by sitting.
5. One doubt is that any \'re-scooter\' available in system? As I find only \'re-cycle\', but I own a scooter at my home.
6. There is \'Find\' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost
the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this \' find\',
but unable to trace. Is it a bug??
7. Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my \'mouse\' from
CAT, So i suggest u to provide one DOG to protect from the cat.
8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning
\'HEARTS\' (playing cards in games) and when are you coming to my home to
collect your money.
9. My child learnt \'Microsoft word\' now he wants to learn \'Microsoft
sentence\', so when u will provide that?
10. Hey, I brought computer, cpu, mouse and keypad there is only one
icon with \'MY Computer\', where is remaining ?
11. And in \'MY Pictures\' there is not even single photo of mine, so when u will keep my photo in that?
Last edited by vedu_king on 24th December 2009, 9:26 am; edited 1 time in total
-- (Note : Santa, which are mentioned in several jokes here, dosen\'t mean it is Santa Claus)
Santa Singh was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his friend Banta. As Banta Singh stood beside the bed, Santa Singh\'s frail condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on. Banta singh lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper, and Santa used his last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died. Banta singh thought it best not to look at the note just then, so he slipped it into his jacket pocket.
Several days later, at the funeral, Banta singh was visting Santa\'s family. He realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he\'d worn the day Santa died.
\"You know,\" he said, \"Santa handed me a note just before he died. I haven\'t read it, but knowing Santa, I\'m sure there\'s a word of inspiration there for us all. He unfolded the note and read a loud, \"You\'re standing on my oxygen tube!\"
--
2 Sardars are driving a car, one puts on the indicator and asks the
other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says
YES...NO...YES. ..NO...YES. ..NO...
--
Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, \"How far is land\"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!
--
A foolish person named Banta Singh wrote this letter to Bill Gates (Old president of America who discovered windows 95)
Dear Mr Bill Gates,
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a
computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to
your notice.
1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and
whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field.
We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****.
I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the
password is.
2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the \'shut down \'
button.
3. There is a button \'start\' but there is no \"stop\" button. We request you to check this.
4. We find there is \'Run\' in the menu. One of my friend clicked \'run\' has ran upto New York! So, we request you to change that to \"sit\", so that we can click that by sitting.
5. One doubt is that any \'re-scooter\' available in system? As I find only \'re-cycle\', but I own a scooter at my home.
6. There is \'Find\' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost
the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this \' find\',
but unable to trace. Is it a bug??
7. Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my \'mouse\' from
CAT, So i suggest u to provide one DOG to protect from the cat.
8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning
\'HEARTS\' (playing cards in games) and when are you coming to my home to
collect your money.
9. My child learnt \'Microsoft word\' now he wants to learn \'Microsoft
sentence\', so when u will provide that?
10. Hey, I brought computer, cpu, mouse and keypad there is only one
icon with \'MY Computer\', where is remaining ?
11. And in \'MY Pictures\' there is not even single photo of mine, so when u will keep my photo in that?
Last edited by vedu_king on 24th December 2009, 9:26 am; edited 1 time in total
