At My Age, Getting Lucky Is Finding My Car in the Parking Lot.
Remember When Sex Was Safe and Skydiving Was Dangerous?
(On the front) Randolph-Macon Woman's College (On the back) Not a Girls' School with No Men, but a Women's College with No Boys.
(On a motorcycle rider's t shirt - back) If you can read this, then the b*#** fell off
My IQ came back negative :-)
We Got Rid of the Kids -- The Cat Was Allergic.
Don't Worry, Mom -- It's Just a Phase.
Kids: You Spend the First Two Years of Their Lives Teaching Them to Walk and Talk -- and the Next 19 Telling Them to Sit Down and Shut Up.
(On the front) 60 Is Not Old . . . (On the back) If You're a Tree.
I'm Still Hot -- It Just Comes in Flashes.
I'm Not 50 -- I'm $49.95 Plus Tax.
I Know I Came Into This Room for a Reason.
Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up!
I Used to Have a Handle on Life, But It Broke.
My Reality Check Just Bounced.
Cancel My Subscription -- I Don't Need Your Issues.
Dangerously Under-Medicated.
Madness Takes Its Toll -- Please Have Exact Change.
Every Time I Hear the Dirty Word 'Exercise,' I Wash My Mouth Out With Chocolate.
Physically Pffffft!
Earth Is the Insane Asylum for the Universe.
Life Is Short -- Make Fun of It.
Buckle Up. It Makes It Harder for the Aliens to Snatch You From Your Car.
Hang Up and Drive.
I Took the Road Less Traveled, and Now Where the Heck Am I?
Welcome to Mississippi -- Set Your Watch Back 30 Years.
Use Vowels Every Day or You'll Get Consonated.
Don't Hate Yourself in the Morning -- Sleep Till Noon.
I'm Not a Snob. I'm Just Better Than You Are.
Live Your Life So That When You Die, the Minister Will Not Have to Tell Any Lies at Your Funeral.
Remember When Sex Was Safe and Skydiving Was Dangerous?
(On the front) Randolph-Macon Woman's College (On the back) Not a Girls' School with No Men, but a Women's College with No Boys.
(On a motorcycle rider's t shirt - back) If you can read this, then the b*#** fell off
My IQ came back negative :-)
We Got Rid of the Kids -- The Cat Was Allergic.
Don't Worry, Mom -- It's Just a Phase.
Kids: You Spend the First Two Years of Their Lives Teaching Them to Walk and Talk -- and the Next 19 Telling Them to Sit Down and Shut Up.
(On the front) 60 Is Not Old . . . (On the back) If You're a Tree.
I'm Still Hot -- It Just Comes in Flashes.
I'm Not 50 -- I'm $49.95 Plus Tax.
I Know I Came Into This Room for a Reason.
Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up!
I Used to Have a Handle on Life, But It Broke.
My Reality Check Just Bounced.
Cancel My Subscription -- I Don't Need Your Issues.
Dangerously Under-Medicated.
Madness Takes Its Toll -- Please Have Exact Change.
Every Time I Hear the Dirty Word 'Exercise,' I Wash My Mouth Out With Chocolate.
Physically Pffffft!
Earth Is the Insane Asylum for the Universe.
Life Is Short -- Make Fun of It.
Buckle Up. It Makes It Harder for the Aliens to Snatch You From Your Car.
Hang Up and Drive.
I Took the Road Less Traveled, and Now Where the Heck Am I?
Welcome to Mississippi -- Set Your Watch Back 30 Years.
Use Vowels Every Day or You'll Get Consonated.
Don't Hate Yourself in the Morning -- Sleep Till Noon.
I'm Not a Snob. I'm Just Better Than You Are.
Live Your Life So That When You Die, the Minister Will Not Have to Tell Any Lies at Your Funeral.